How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

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the love boat

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What's it called when Justin Bieber has sex? Sex. The specific person partaking in sexual intercourse does not change the term used to describe it.

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because it's a free country chickens are free to do as they please

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get off the roof.

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

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1 man walks up to a tiger and eats cheese toast with brownies and butter and wonders about the stars the end james

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

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Why was the mom crying? Her son was found in the oven.

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Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

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A blond, brunette, and red head jump off a building. Who hit the ground last? The red head because she was last to jump.

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops