What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

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if you give somebody a dollar and they give you a different dollar you both have a dollar

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Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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knock knock

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Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

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What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

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A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

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Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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How do you make a baby float? 1 can root bear 2 scoop baby

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man walk into a bar, the bartender asks what they would like to drink, after respnding, paying and receiving their drinks, they sit down to drink them. What a lovely scene of ethnic diversity

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below! no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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