Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar. Or maybe a hospital... or possibly a church.

A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

Why did the

Why was the girl crying? Because she was brutally raped

What did the man say to the waiter when he was about to tip him? I'm not gay, but $20 is $20.

Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

The Detroit Lions

So a blond is rowing a boat in the middle of the field. It turns out she was insane and was trying to escape from the sanitarium.

What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

What do you say to a friend when they're feeling down? The Game

What's that in the road.... a-head?

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

The big male boar went out the forest, saw a group of women and start to swank.

Roses are red Violets are blue I like to slap hookers

How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

Two gays walk into a bar, they are then kicked out by the homophobic owner.

Q: What did the dog say to the cat? A: animals don't talk

What's mean to black people? The economy. But, I forgot to mention that it's not nice to whites, hispanics, asians or anyone else.

kknocckkck knockckkckccck hue's theeeair? TTThhe pOOOliCCee. fffor whaaa? yyouu rr arreesstedd forrr drrunkkkc dddrivvinnng! Puuut urerre frreaakkki'n hannnddss uppp!

Why are Asians good at math? Because coincidentally many are interested in it and study a lot.

whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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