Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? The black guy is a sentient human being, and the bucket of shit is just a metal container filled with feces

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

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Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

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What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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A duck walks into a bar he buys a drink and says To the bartender "Put it on my bill." the duck is charged With $800.

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roses are red violets are blue you think shes hot? how BLIND are you?

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

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Q: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? A: A couple of pigs with questionable carpenter's skills, and maybe Red Riding Hood. Grandma wasn't so lucky.

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Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

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What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

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The last time Jesse saw his **** was the day..........oh wait it's never happened

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why does column have a letter n?

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

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what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? A: A dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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