I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

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Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

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Hear the one about the deaf guy? Neither has he.

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What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

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A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

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Bean.

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Her parents named it Spot; Hellen Keller isn't able to speak due to her handicapped muteness.

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What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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A ginger a blond and a burnett where walking in the dessert... They died of heat exhaustion.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

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Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

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A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

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Adam Chebali goes to war and is quickly killed. The rest of the world rejoices as he can no longer post anti-jokes only he thinks are funny and brag about himself on anti-joke.com.

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what did the fat guy say to the girl ill make fun of you because i have bigger tits than you

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10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

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its snowing on mount fuji

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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Justin Bieber.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Hey dude, wanna come with me!!!! Sure, where? ON YOUR FACE!!!!!! -_- ........ok sure why not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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