A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? I don't know but it's not the little girl.

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What's black,white, and red all over? Nothing, because if it is completely covered in red then it can only be red.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

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- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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The big male boar went out the forest, saw a group of women and start to swank.

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why does Ron Weasley have friends? He does't. He's a ginger.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Yo mama's so poor that she's living in poverty.

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ginger

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How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

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women's rights

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Why are Asians good at math? Because coincidentally many are interested in it and study a lot.

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I watched The Pianist last night? Holocaust

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A man walks outside and walks back in. Why? Because it was raining purple unicorns and he felt the need to go back inside.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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What does Snoop dog wash his clothes with Bleach

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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