A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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Why is the sky blue? The sun reflects off the water molecules in all bodies of water

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

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Whats the best ab workout? Solly Twist

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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Justin's humor

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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Black people

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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