A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A black man walked into a bar. Had a drink, and left.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops