A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Apple.

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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obamas trench

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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