Why was the man crying in prison? He missed his family and wanted to go home.

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knock knock who's there me i kill you

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Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

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Why is the sky blue? The sun reflects off the water molecules in all bodies of water

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

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How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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"Hey guys lets have a standing obviation." No one else stands....

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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