Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A man comes home to find his wife in bed with another man. He then joins them.

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Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

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Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

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Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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Q: How do you kill an Asian? A: Deprive of calculator or shoot it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is black.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jahova's witnesses.

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Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

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Why was the little boy screaming? He was going down a steep drop on a roller coaster.

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Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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What did the pedophile get for christmas? He was raped by a gorilla

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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