What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, killed 6's family and made him watch...

Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

Knock knock. Who's there? Jahova's witnesses.

Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

Whats the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? One is a specific type of sports car, and the other is a sad destruction of many young lives

What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

Do you want to hear a joke? No. Women's- oh, okay.

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole.

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

When will racism end? When everyone's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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