What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

a chicken walks into terry's house he penetrates himn

Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

0 + 0 = 0

You are Nerochan right?

Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

52 Prostitutes in a bar. Challenge Accepted.

There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

What happened when a man drove up to an escort and said "want to check my bags?" The escort replied "Certainly, sir" due to the fact the escort worked at a hotel.

Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

Wanna know something funny? Your face

Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...