A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

Why can't Hellen Keller read, write, or do anything really? Because, shes a woman.

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

Your mother is a very respectable woman.

Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

What is something you would not normally find in a china cabinet? Japan

Flop dog

What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

The Christian prayed every night to God for a new bike. He kept it up for a year. Finally, he got a bike for his birthday.

Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

matt f stupid because no one likes him

What does Kim Kardashian and a Navy Vessel have in common? They are both full of seamen!

Teacher: "What is the outside layer on a tree?" Dog: "Bark" Teacher: "How would you describe the desert surface?" Dog: "Rough" Teacher: "Would you say that Abraham Lincoln was an intelligent man?" Dog: "Yarp"

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

A fish walks into a bar Fish dont walk

How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

Knock Knock -Who's there I eat mipe -I eat mipewho hahahah -Oh I'm gonna beat your ass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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