Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

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Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

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Don't you sometime just want to chop of your toes and stomp around to prove to the so called 'experts' that it is possible for a person to walk without toes? . . . . . . me neither

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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why did timmy die he was shot in the head by terrorists

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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Someone made a Titanic joke to me today, It was just plane wrong.

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IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

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what did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? nothing because they were both cupcakes.

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A cop

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

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But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

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If you don't see banners here, it doesnt mean their not there...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

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what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

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why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

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"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

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Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

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Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops