Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? -because she had no arms Why didn't she get back up? -because she had no legs Why diddn't anyone help her? -because she was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The biggest joke in anti-joke are these two MOST FAVED What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. +17662 likes MOST HATED whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven -1714 dislikes GUESS WHAT : they are both jew jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A dislexic man walks into a bra. He then proceeds to enjoy the breasts that he has stumbled upon.p

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Chinese drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats worse than runing over a box of kittens? Runing over two boxes of kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops