Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

Andy Carrol

Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

Homosexuals are gay.

Yo momma so fat, she died.

What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

why did the cow eat the seahorse/ because my shift keys are broken1

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

Q. Knock knock A. Who's there Q. DEEZ A. DEEZ who A. DEEZ NUTZ HA GOT EEEEEM

How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

religion.

A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

Your mama's so fat.

what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...