Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

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Why did Michael Vick run? Because he was being chased by defenders.

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Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

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How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

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Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

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what happens if you set micheal jackson on fire nothing he is 6 feet under incased in concrete if he wasnt hed melt

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What's red and screams? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

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what do you call a joke that is not a joke? not a joke

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Q: What's worse than the holocaust? A: 2 Holocausts

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Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

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- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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say cheese

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A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

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Greg told a joke. It wasnt funny...

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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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