Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

What's big and messy? A big mess

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Cut the rope.

What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

your mom died.

A Boy Walks Up To A Frog At the Bus Stop And Says, “Why Are You So Upset?” And The Frog Replied, “I’m Waiting For The Bus Because My Car Just Got TOAD!”

what happened to the kid who didn't get what he wanted for his birthday? He committed suicide

Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

why did the puppy poop? he had too

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, All you HATERS of Bieber, Go sick your mother.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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