A duck walks into a bar he buys a drink and says To the bartender "Put it on my bill." the duck is charged With $800.

Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

why does column have a letter n?

how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

why was six afraid of seven? because seven murdered sixes wife and kids and said he was next.

A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

GONNA

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Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - I am. - I am who? - You are Steve. - Indeed.

roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

What is the difference between an African and French person? Nothing all people ate equal.

your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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