What do you call a really old Cowboy? A senior citizen with a brain tumor.

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

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What is worse than the holocaust? World War III.

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Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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George Bush.

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When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

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Why does life suck? Because it does

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raisin boogers

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

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What is the last digit of Pi? Pi is an infinite decimal sequence, and therefore has no last number, but if it did, it would presumably be somewhere from 0-9.

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I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

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Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

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What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

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A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

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Why can't you fly? Cause Ruddell says so.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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