Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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69

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Yo mamas so fat, that I need a new pair of sunglasses.

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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Jews...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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