What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

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Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was a Women

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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