What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Why is your face? Because.

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops