A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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What is funnier than this joke? Jokes with higher ratings.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

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Whats the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby sandwich? I don't stomp on my ham sadnwiches with cleats before I eat them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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