Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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I'm tired of your blind jokes, I just don't see the humor in them........

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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