knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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Hi

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Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

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what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

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What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Not your dead Nan

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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DESERT

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There's a pile of dead babies with one live baby on the bottem eating it's way out.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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