What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

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Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

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I had a date. She was a pegasister. Since MLP was magical, I disappeared.

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knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

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School

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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A blind man walks into a pole.

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Why do Mexicans get made fun of? Because they are Mexican

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Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

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why did hellen keller kiss a girl? another blind date

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nipple

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

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MAKE TEA NOT WAR!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops