What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A baby gets hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? A: A dog

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A duck walks into a bar he buys a drink and says To the bartender "Put it on my bill." the duck is charged With $800.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? A: A couple of pigs with questionable carpenter's skills, and maybe Red Riding Hood. Grandma wasn't so lucky.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how many jews can you fit in a buick? six if you squeeze 4 in the back

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why does column have a letter n?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why was six afraid of seven? because seven murdered sixes wife and kids and said he was next.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops