Two Drunks walk out of a bar. They look down an alley and see a dog licking his balls. The first drunk says" Man, I wish I could do that." The second guy replies " Well you better pet him first."

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adam sucks off disabled old men for a pac of biscuits

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A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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Whats worse than being a student? Being raped.

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knock knock how there me ok come in

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How did the Mexican got into USA? Trough the border.

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What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. The brunette says, "Those are dear tracks." The redhead says, "Those are elk tracks." The blonde says, "Those are moose tracks." They are then hit by bus.

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Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuble prizes.

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Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

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what did one pedophile say to the other at the playground? DIBZ!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

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Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

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What's brown and smelly? Poop.

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Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

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what is black and green and red all over q: Nothing, you cant have 3 colors on the same surface

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what do you call a black man on tv? an actor

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What's the difference between a bird and a fish ? They're both different, except the fish.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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