What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

Dance is a sport

How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

TWIX PAUSE!

Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

What is worse than finding an Apple in your Worm? Watching your dog jumping of a cliff

What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

im a dragon, no im not

What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

Darude- Sandstorm

what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

Make little things count Teach midgets math

What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left... So they take the left and enjoy themselves at the place many considered the most wonderful place in the world.

A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

Mark Wilson

Billy Cundiff.

What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

Whats better than 24? 25.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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