Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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GONNA

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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a black man is flying a plane what is his name Joe and the plane crashed and he died because I distracted him with this question

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Dad: i hate you. dads son:(kills him self)

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why does god like Justin Bieber? He can't god doesn't like the devil.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 24

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your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory

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How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

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"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

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Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

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Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

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A mexican man killed a black man yesterday. It had nothing to do with his race, he just had a very rough childhood and wasn't taught moral values.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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suck my balls mr.garison

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

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When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

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Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

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NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice then you will have noticed this notice is not worth being noticed

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Two elephants walk off of cliff.... BOOM BOOM!

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How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Cruchie.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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