There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

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if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

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If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

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When a blonde entered a bar, she ordered a something that was a double-entendre. The bartender understood what she was trying to say, gave her her order whatever alcohol she happened to consume, and the blonde woman could not have been more courteous.

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The time and place do not matter because I'm a lesbian.

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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why did the women have to black eyes? obviously because her husband hit her because he wanted a sandwich and he slapped the bitch and told her to get in the kitchen!

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What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

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Knock knock Who's there? Micheal Jordan. Micheal Jordan who? Your an idiot

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Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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If Michael Jackson was alive we would who cares he is dead

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Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

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A dog just died in my neighborhood last week. It made me sad so I vandelized a church and got put into jail. That made me even MORE sad so I vandelized the jail. Morel of the story: This wasn't grammaticly a story. A story is not 3 sentences. --

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why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

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Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

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Yo' mama's such a hoe she got arrested last week for prostitution charges!

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Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

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Why cant a black man and a white man cant be friends? Because bont mens are racist

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What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

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Two tigers, walking down Oxford St. One turns to the other & says, "Quiet for a Saturday, don't you think?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was uneducated and was not aware of the dangers of streets in heavily populated cities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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