Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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A Jewish man walks into a grocery store. He purchases the items he needs and leaves.

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Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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Why couldn't the women cook for her family She had no arms, therefore incapable of preforming the task.

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What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

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Q: What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? A: Popcorn Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? A: F'uck you -Ap

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Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

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what do you call someone who hates jews anti semitic

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i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

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What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

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Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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