How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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What's bigger then a bowling ball? What? Your mom!

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

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dfasdf sdf ds fds fds f sdf s fs

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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A man had a blue hat, a yellow hat and a red hat. This man has three hats.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? Yo bike!

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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A Black man and a racist walk into a bar. There was a ruckus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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