What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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What do you call a joke without a punchline?

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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Ask if I'm a aardvark. Are you a aardvark? Yes.

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Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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No.

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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What did the man without a tongue say...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops