What has two legs, but cant walk? Steven Hawking

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Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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I was watching this movie..... its over now.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

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Yo momma so fat, she died.

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

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What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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Your mother is a stupid bitch. For real.

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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Charlotte Bobcats

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brandon ya twwat

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A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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