an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

-Knock Knock ~Who's there? -It's your mother ~Go away

there was a blind kid and a man wearing a WWJD & Livstrong bracelet touched his eyes and he could see. He wasn't used to the light and walked into traffic and died instantly.

Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

What do you call a guy who answers your door Whatever his name his

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they see an orphanage on fire. "Oh my god!" says the rabbi. "We have to save the children!" "Screw the children!" says the priest. "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

What is something you would not normally find in a china cabinet? Japan

Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

whats purple and savage? Barney!

Why is pi? Because circles.

Rachel not blowing Robert.

Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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