- Anti Joke

Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

Four blondes are driving to Disney World. When they are in Florida, there is a sign that says "Disney left" Upset, they make a u-turn and go home.

What's worse than a baby falling? A baby fall in a pit of tar What did the baby say on the way down? "weeeeeee"

A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Her parents named it Spot; Hellen Keller isn't able to speak due to her handicapped muteness.

hickory dickory dock no one cares

What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... __/\_/\_/\_________________

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

2 guys get into a fight over a girl.....the girl walks out

Are you from Tennesse because my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house! Nock. Nock. Whos there? The Chicken?

Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

Four blondes are driving to Disney World. When they are in Florida, there is a sign that says "Disney left" Upset, they make a u-turn and go home.

What's worse than a baby falling? A baby fall in a pit of tar What did the baby say on the way down? "weeeeeee"

A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Her parents named it Spot; Hellen Keller isn't able to speak due to her handicapped muteness.

hickory dickory dock no one cares

What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... __/\_/\_/\_________________

Two english guys meet at work

what time is it? 3:16

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

2 guys get into a fight over a girl.....the girl walks out

Are you from Tennesse because my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house! Nock. Nock. Whos there? The Chicken?

Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

What do you call a man in a wheel chair? Stephen Hawking

Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

Four blondes are driving to Disney World. When they are in Florida, there is a sign that says "Disney left" Upset, they make a u-turn and go home.

What's worse than a baby falling? A baby fall in a pit of tar What did the baby say on the way down? "weeeeeee"

A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Her parents named it Spot; Hellen Keller isn't able to speak due to her handicapped muteness.

hickory dickory dock no one cares

What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... ____/\_____/\_____/\___________________

Two english guys meet at work

what time is it? 3:16

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... __/\_/\_/\_________________