What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

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what did bob say to joey, nothing joey's dead

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

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Gay Rights

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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Why did the baboon fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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Who is Jonathan Ezell He is Jonathan Ezell

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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69

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Take off your shoes.

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Go to hell I hate you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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