What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What got stolen from the poor boys house... Nothing, he was so poor that he couldn't even afford any thing

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

thumb_up thumb_down +27

knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse then the quote "Do it, hit her!" The quote "Do it, Hitler!"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops