Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

If your uncle jack helped you off your horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a hot underaged girl. off limits i am her father.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the woman accuse a black man of stealing from a bank? Because she was eating a cornmuffin on the bench across the street when she saw a black man,stealing money from a bank

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy drowned Bc he couldn't swim

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

-Hey I know something funnier than 24, ---What? -25! Hey I know something funnier than 25. ---What? -The Holocaust!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

TWIX PAUSE!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops