Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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How old is your mom? Old.

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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i have an apple. now suck my dick

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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