What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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Its December 21, 2012. You are still alive.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone dropped a refrigerator on her. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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was michael jackson black or white? how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie poop? the world will never know

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A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

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What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops