How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

Why did the fat chick have a camel toe? She was half camel

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cause 7 was a petophile and 6 has four children

If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic..

Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

what did batman say to robin? get in the car

So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

How do u know a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls out a tampon it has no cotton on it.

What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

do you like walffles?Yes I like walffles!

What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

Why did Hitler kill the Jews? He didn't, the people he told to kill them did.

Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...