Where do snowmen keep their money? Snowmen don't have money

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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What do you call two black men and a hispanic man in the back of a car? The punchline of this joke is offensive, and might bring legal troubles to Anti-Joke.Com and it's subsidiaries. For these reasons, Anti-Joke.Com will not allow it to be shown.

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There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

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We are lawyers

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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you are a åsshole :)

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whats green and has wings ? a flying patch of astro turf

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

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This is a joke setup.

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

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Q: why was the movie called the last house on the left? A: because they went to the last house that was on the left.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Probably

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate black people, and mexicans too.

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

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Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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