What's red and curly and goes 100km an hour? Palfi in a blender

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A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person who lives inside is depth.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

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What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

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Women's rights

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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a horse walks into a bar. what does the bartender say? why is there a horse in my bar.

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

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What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

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What's red and screams? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

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Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm extremely unstable. And So are you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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