What's worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke? Your family being massacred in front of your eyes.

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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Why is your face? Because.

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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