Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

Bob fell off his roof.

When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

A homeless man comes home from work.

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

69

Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

Society.

What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

Why did the moron jump through the window?

Whats worse than dying? Nothing, really.

Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

A woman's opinion

A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

Get in the car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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