I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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69

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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Apple.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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Why did the black man die? He drove off a cliff.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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Fags are gay.

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The Bible

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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