How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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Q: How much does it cost to have 50cent and Nickleback perform together? A: 45 cents, because its 50 cents, and you get a nickle back

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

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What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

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A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone dropped a refrigerator on her. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Its December 21, 2012. You are still alive.

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A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

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Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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