What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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A guy trips a blind man.

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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Woman Rights

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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That's not what she said.

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What do you call a gay dog? Steve

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A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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