What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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i like turtals and kids

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

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What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

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If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

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Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

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knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sun is bright.

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Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

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Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

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Q: Whats the difference between nude pics and your mom? A: I can wackk off to nude pics

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops