How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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FUCK YOU NEVEN

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What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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