How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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Why couldn't Jenna play double dutch? Because she had no friends.

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

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Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

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I was reading this book one time..... and my imagination took me away to many lands and times.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to the Navy SEALS? Nothing. There was insufficient time to hold a conversation before they shot him in the face.

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I made a sandwich Lol jk, my gf made it for me

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What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

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In Soviet Russia, the political system was very different than it is today.

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what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

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Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

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What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He was brutally raped and killed, Inglewood is really not a place you want your children growing up.

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Random Guy: "Oh god, why was I born with so much common sense?" God: "You must be mistaken, or else you wouldn't be asking me."

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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what did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? nothing because they were both cupcakes.

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>posts joke >mistaken for anti-joke

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Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

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What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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