What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

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A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

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BOTTOM!!!

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

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A man walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer."

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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What's worse then forced to eat frog legs? Xbox one

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

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Q:What did the Black man say to New York? A: Black Out.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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once upon a time there was a boy

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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Debating on internet is like competing in the paralympics, even if you win you're still retarded

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Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

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Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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