Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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Don't worry, I'm not as random as you think I salad

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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"I see," said the blind man to the deaf man.

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get off the roof.

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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Women's Rights.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion. What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant scorpions

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

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WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DANII AND SCAFFHOLDING? ONLY ONE STILL HAS A POLE 1 LIKE = 1 TEAR FOR DANII

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What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

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Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

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Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

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Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

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Billy Cundiff.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

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*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

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Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, there is no way to accurately estimate this number being that 1.woodchucks in fact do not chuck wood and 2. there is no time frame given for said action to take place

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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